Who coined the term Mommy Wars? I mean, really?

I have put much thought into my position on what is best for my child with regards to my return to the workplace.  I’ve agonized over it and I still don’t have all the answers as to what is the best solution.  There’s only one thing of which I am convinced from this internal debate and much internet research.  

Whether I go back to work or not is nobody else’s GD business. 

When reading about the Mommy Wars (ugh), one is confronted with repeated stories from both camps.  An often cited stay at home mom’s complaint is the stranger’s reaction to their declaration of occupation.  Said stranger’s eyes glaze over before they look over the mom’s shoulder to find someone more interesting and important to talk to.  There is then much talk from the mom of a deflated sense of self and much gnashing of teeth with regards to their supposed place in the world.  What no one seems to remember is that the stranger that politely shoved you off?  The one who couldn’t be bothered to find out anything else about you? That guy is a JERK.  Why do you care if he’s not interested in talking to you?

The mom who works outside the home seems to be just as susceptible to a sound shaming from the stay at home’s.   I mean, it’s a particular breed of stay at home mom that we’re talking about here.  The Gwyneth’s response to everything you allow your child to eat, play with and see is a polite smile and raised eyebrows.    Why do you think that she’s doing a better job raising her kid than you are?  Just because you serve your darling fruit out of a jar doesn’t mean the kid is going to start selling your Adderall to the other kids in daycare.  These people are JERKS.  Why do we care what they think?  Are they better than we are?  Maybe...please don’t tell them that I called them jerks.

Oh, by the by, you working outside of the home moms.  Gloria Steinem does not care if I’m in an office or not so stop trying to make it about her.  Chill out.  You went back to work and maybe you enjoy it.  Good for you.  You don’t think I might like to eat lunch alone at a desk and make a half assed power point presentation any given Wednesday?  Sorry, just had to stop and imagine sitting in clean clothes at a desk all alone.  That sounds amazing.  

I’m not saying that we should stop judging other mothers and just get along.  That’s not going to happen, (It’s certainly not going to happen if you persist in giving little Jimmy candy all day, how could you?)   I’m just saying that we should lessen our investment in others opinions and maybe try and be less righteous ourselves.